Okay, first of all, I totally hate confrontation. Although, being a red extrovert who just says whatever comes to mind first, I'm not very good at avoiding it all the time. This morning, my bro Chris and I took Sophie to Kangaroo Zoo. SO FUN!!! Sophie had a blast. But it was really busy. There were a lot of kids there. And, major bummer, the blow up for 4 and under had a hole in it. But, it got fixed, so that was the last thing we played on before we left. Unfortunately, as soon as it was blown up, kids swarmed all over it. Including a few big kids (older than age 4). The big kids were jumping like crazy and bonking into the little kids. Why were all the other adults around not saying anything? Hello, safety first! In the meantime, the referees (employees) were busy trying to figure out what to do about some sneaky child that was turning all the blow up toys off (major suffocation hazard!). So, they were too busy to police the little kid zone, so I politely mentioned to the big kids that this was for 4 and under, so they needed to get off the toy if they were older. No big deal. Well, then there was this other kid who may have been 4, I wasn't sure. He was jumping off the snail and crashing into other kids. I wouldn't be surprised if he gave one of the girls a black eye. Poor thing was just sobbing. Do you think any of the parents said anything - no (what the heck?!?!), so I kindly asked him to stop jumping like that. IT WAS TOO DANGEROUS! No mom wants other kids leaving in stitches, right? I told him for his own safety too....but WATCH OUT. Five or ten minutes later, this mom comes up behind me and says, "Will you stay off my son!" In my head I'm thinking, "what? I wasn't "ON" any kids???" Turns out, she had the kid in tow who was jumping into kids. So, I'm like, what are you talking about and I see the kid and I say, "oh, I told him to stop jumping because it was dangerous and he was crashing into kids." She got all psycho on me and said that her friend who is an honest person said I told him to leave. I tried to tell her, no I told him not to jump like he was. Well, she wouldn't give up that her friend was this amazing honest person and told her little boy to get out. Figuring she wasn't getting off her high horse anytime soon, I said, "I apologize for the misunderstanding." And she walked away.
Here's why I hate confrontation...it takes a few minutes to think of the perfect thing to say, but it's too late. I wish I would have said, "What, your friend was standing right there? Why on Earth didn't she tell him not to jump like that? This place is packed and we moms need to watch out for the safety of all the kids, not just the fun of our own kid."
Oh my gosh! I am proud of myself though and my brother too. I kept my cool, gave the lady what she wanted and my brother didn't jump into it. But here's what I don't understand - parents who put their kid on a pedestal and attack anyone who gets in their kids way. We parents know our kids better than anyone and I don't think there's a parent out there who will honestly say that their child doesn't have accidents and make mistakes. These types of parents who jump all over anyone who encourages their child to behave safely (oh my, at the cost of some fun!) are the type that enable their kids to do wrong.
So, right here, right now, I'm publicly (via my private blog) vowing to not be one of those parents that always rushes to my child's defense and rescue. I'll help my child understand the situations where they are reprimanded rather than getting all heated about it. Good grief!
Okay, I'm emotionally over it. But I'm wondering, what would you have done. Was I wrong to speak up when the timid parents were sitting back allowing kids to get mauled?
Sidenote worth mentioning - I did have one parent thank me for asking the big kids to leave. OH and most importantly - yes, you will see pics of this fun outing. Christopher just needs to email me pics from his camera.
8 comments:
Good for you. I am glad that you had the guts to say something. If you hadn't been bold enough to take the situation into your own hands who knows what might have happened. Someone could've been seriously injured.
I agree with you. I hate confrontation more than just about anything else. But, it isn't confrontational when there are posted age limits and they are being ignored. And, even if someone isn't over the age limit I believe it is just fine to politely ask them to stop being dangerous.
I am with you also about parents that 'stand up' for their kids because their little sweetie pie just couldn't do anything wrong. I always have tried to listen to what I'm being told and then talk to the kids and really question them about their behavior. My kids will probably tell you I erred on the side of them always being wrong...but I tried to have them see that even if they didn't think they were wrong they needed to look at the other person's view too.
Well, this is long winded and probably doesn't make sense. So, the short story is: I think you handled it just fine!
I know what you mean. We sometimes have issues with rough kids at play places and I always want to say something. But, like you, I try to avoid confrontation, so I usually stay quiet unless I see a kid out right hurting one of mine. I just can't believe how some parents just let their kids run wild while they talk on their cell phones or read and are totally oblivious to what is going on. GRRR! Good for you for saying something...and for keeping your cool! ;)
Ok the more I read your posts & such them more I realize how alike we are! I totally would have said something!!! Of course in a nice way, but I hate passive parents that just let their kids do whatever they want & I don't want to be that kind of parent either! In the past, my hot head got me intomore trouble, but thanks to my husband, I have learned to just let certain things go!
I hate it too. But I would have told him to stop too. I mean if the parents don't (like linus' cousin) then someone needs too and if they don't like it too bad.
I am not one for confrontation as well and I hate the "my kid does no wrong" parents. I happen to know quite a few. Everyone has done or will do wrong!! Good job for calling that little brat out.
Oh and I totally need help with the creative mem software.
I think you were totally in the right, who does that parent think she is. I'm impressed you kept your cool. You did the right thing.
That is so awesome Nisha! I think you did the right thing! I probably would have been worse because I get all riled up if someone comes at me like that. (I don't go all "springer" on people or anything like that, but I wouldn't have been as nice as you were.) And I think it's important to be kind, even when other people are out of line. So, I think you handled yourself with grace and dignity when confronted by someone considerably less classy.
And when there are nasty kids in bounce houses/play places, I ALWAYS say something, why should my kid suffer because someone else's kid is out of control? It's so funny, I totally kick crazy kids out of those places. I look the other way if an older kid is playing NICELY with their siblings, but one time 2 olders boys totally trampled Kort while playing tag one day, and I walked right up to them (in front of their moms) and called out in my nicest voice "Oh! Gosh guys, you are way too big to be playing in there, and you're being way to rough. You need to hop out okay?" Now, imagine that being said in a voice so sugary that you'd want to throw up, and you've got the picture. It's hilarious. I learned it from my aunt, and it seems to work every time. Parents either apologize or leave, and either way - I'm good with that!
We live in such a society of excess, and failure to teach children right from wrong is part of that as well. What parents don't understand is that they are short-changing their child in the long run. Their kids aren't learning good citizenship and civility. Teachers don't like to deal with kids like that, other kids don't like to play with kids like that (they're certainly not welcome in my home), and in the long run, no one wants to be around someone who is like that. I don't see why parents aren't doing everything they can to ensure that their child develops important character attributes that will help them to live the best life possible. Okay this is officially the world's longest comment,so I'm not even gonna get started on parents who wrongfully defend their horrendous children. I'm probably going to have to go blog about it now!
Let me just say, I am way proud of you. When someone does that, it really takes it out of you for awhile. The incident keeps replaying in your head and you keep coming up with things you should have said back, but the fact is that kindness, humility, and non-confrontation are always the best way to handle situations like that. Sure, you don't prove her wrong right there in front of everyone, but everyone there knew she was out of line, (and everyone HERE knows she's out of line) and I know that even that mom could sense it deep down (I'm sure she ignored it, and is still trying to ignore it, but I still know she felt it)
Good for you.
Good for you.
Good for you.
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